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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25577851">Another chance</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LetoLeGaosaure/pseuds/LetoLeGaosaure'>LetoLeGaosaure</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Blood, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Self-Hatred</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:13:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,827</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25577851</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LetoLeGaosaure/pseuds/LetoLeGaosaure</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Players in the Game fought for another chance at life. But this Game had been different, with a whole other layer. A whole other Game. A whole other set of Players.<br/>Different ways to offer new chances.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hanekoma Sanae &amp; Kiryu "Joshua" Yoshiya, Hanekoma Sanae &amp; Kitaniji Megumi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You're going to bring him back."</p><p>
Sanae looked up from his sketchbook and met Joshua's glare.</p><p>
"Hello to you too. Care to clarify?"</p><p>
He had not seen the Composer since the end of the Game. Joshua was obviously pissed at him, which was probably not undeserved. He had played against him, after all. But now, Joshua was suddenly here, in his workshop, <i>ordering</i> him to… what?</p><p>"You're going to bring Megumi back to life. After all it's kind of your <i>specialty</i>, hmm, mister <i>Fallen Angel</i>."</p><p>Joshua visibly wanted this to sting, but he would have to try harder to get under Sanae's skin. (The fact that it was mostly because Sanae already felt <i>sick</i> at what he had done was better kept to himself.)</p><p>Well, he didn't regret bringing Sho back to life, nor did he regret breaking all the rules about <i>not getting involved</i>. What he did regret, though, was betraying Joshua. He had liked the almost friendship they had, and it was laying down in broken shards of glass at his feet. And Joshua was not one to overlook any cutting edge waiting to be turned into a weapon.</p><p>Sanae also felt bad about using Taboo. He sometimes had to run to his shower to scrub his skin for dozens of minutes, trying to get the feeling of being covered in tar to <i>disappear</i>.</p><p>Sanae just looked back at Joshua, trying to project an indifference he was definitely <i>not</i> feeling.</p><p>"I can't do that. Well, not by myself," he amended. "I don't know his Soul well enough to gather him back. You worked with him for years. You would probably be able to help."</p><p>Disgust flashed over Joshua's face for half a second, then it was gone, replaced by a smile bordering on cruel.</p><p>Sanae really had hurt him, hadn't he?</p><p>"I wonder <i>why</i> I thought you would be competent enough to manage something on your own. But alright, let's do this. The faster we finish, the sooner I'll leave you to your <i>precious</i> artistic practice."</p><p><i>This</i> one was hitting closer to home. How had Joshua managed to get from so little time in the room that Sanae was facing <i>major</i> art block since the end of the Game was a mystery, but one Sanae was not eager to investigate.</p><p>Sanae sighed, but got up and pushed all the furniture against the walls with a burst of magic.</p><p>"I'll need you to open up to me enough to give me a feel of what Megumi's Soul sounds like."</p><p>He bit down the <i>I'm sorry</i> that wanted to follow. It would only get them into an argument he was not ready to have.</p><p>Maybe he was a bit of a coward.</p><p>Joshua stared at him in silence for a while. Just when Sanae was about to repeat himself, he got hit with a brutal wave of Music thrown straight against his Soul. He took an involuntary step back and almost fell, overwhelmed, his head resonating like a two tons bell.</p><p>"Here, will this be enough?" Joshua asked, all sugary and innocent.</p><p>Sanae drew a shaky breath, gathered his composure back, and nodded.</p><p>"Perfect," Joshua added. "I'm waiting."<br/>
"Got it, <i>boss</i>," Sanae couldn't help but answer, a bit of venom finding its way into his voice.</p><p>He didn't want to antagonize Joshua. Or, well, he didn't want to antagonize him <i>more</i>. But it was hard to stand his ground when the Composer was so violently looking for a fight.</p><p>Joshua dropped himself into a chair and crossed his legs, the perfect picture of a viewer waiting for a show.</p><p>Sanae tried to push everything out of his mind. He had quite liked Megumi and was actually happy to get an opportunity to bring him back from Erasure. He just needed to <i>focus</i>. Forget about Joshua judging him, <i>hating</i> him. Forget about his self-doubt, forget about how he hated what Taboo had already done to him. Let the memory of Megumi's Music envelop him. Make it his own until it sounded as clear in his mind as if Megumi was really here next to him.</p><p>A deep breath, and he grabbed some charcoal to trace the sigil he needed on the floor.</p><p>Slowly, he let the pattern draw him in, slipping into a light trance. In his mind, his own Music was eclipsed by the notes he was trying to pin down in the black lines dancing in front of his eyes. But where it should have been effortless, he had to <i>fight</i> to keep his hand from shaking. Megumi's Music was <i>almost</i> right, but also on the verge of eluding him.</p><p>Getting it only through Joshua would maybe not be enough.</p><p>Sanae forced himself to go on, Soul opening up to the smallest dissonances, trying to correct them as they appeared. He was so <i>close</i> to get this right, he could feel it, he just had to find the notes slightly out of tune…</p><p>But then it all <i>collapsed</i> into matter. Sanae slowly lifted his hand from the sigil. In front of him was… well, it <i>was</i> Megumi, but at the same time, not <i>quite</i>. Same face, same dark hair. Naked torso marked by a sigil close to the one Sanae had seen on Sho after his resurrection. And then below his waist was a bright red snake tail. A Noise one.</p><p>"Joshua…" Sanae called quietly, unsure if Megumi was conscious or not, "Megumi's Noise form… it <i>was</i> a snake, right?"<br/>
"It was," Joshua confirmed, tone conveying only shock, all animosity forgotten for now.</p><p>Then Megumi opened yellow eyes, almost <i>luminous</i>, and reared back, hissing. Feral.</p><p><i>Fight or flight</i>, Sanae realized. Megumi might be awake, but he was not <i>conscious</i>.</p><p>Sanae slowly backed away, staying close to the ground. Megumi tracked his movement with the distrust of a wounded animal.</p><p>"Megumi," Joshua called out.</p><p>Immediately, Megumi's eyes focused on Joshua. His tail lashed out in the air behind him and he shifted his stance, as if preparing to pounce.</p><p>"Josh, stay back!"</p><p>It was a reflex to throw himself between Joshua and the danger, to protect him like Sanae never stopped wanting to. The sudden move seemed to spook Megumi and he recoiled, backing away until he got stuck against the wall.</p><p>For two or three seconds, there was only silence.</p><p>"Megumi," Joshua tried again, tone calm and soothing, "it's alright, you're safe now."</p><p>Megumi didn't look convinced at all. In fact, the more he stared at Joshua, the more defensive he seemed.</p><p>"Josh… You were the one to Erase him. Maybe it… stuck."<br/>
"Oh, right, since you're <i>so much better</i> than me," (and here was the venom again), "you can deal with this. Send him back to me when you're done."</p><p>And Joshua teleported out, leaving Sanae alone with a frightened and feral <i>Taboo Noise form</i> of the Conductor.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sanae looked at Megumi, who was staring at him with his yellow eyes full of distrust.</p><p>"I'm not gonna hurt you," he said, more for himself than for Megumi.</p><p>He doubted Megumi was able to understand spoken language in his state. His nails were scratching the wall behind him, as if looking for an exit or hoping to create one. Sanae couldn't hide a flinch when he saw blood follow Megumi's fingertips. He couldn't let him hurt himself like that, but he didn't know how to snap him out of this.</p><p>(If it was even possible.)</p><p>(Gods, what if he had brought Megumi back only to trap him in this animalistic state?)</p><p>(Would he have to <i>mercy kill</i> him?)</p><p>Sanae bit his tongue, the pain helping to forcefully disrupt that train of thought. He didn't want to linger on this while there was still hope to reach Megumi. He could do this. He had to.</p><p>"Megumi," he called gently, "listen to my voice, alright? I know you don't know me, but I know you. You're Megumi Kitaniji, remember? You're Shibuya's Conductor. Does that ring any bell?"</p><p>Before him, Megumi didn't react at all, his eyes never leaving Sanae. He soldiered on.</p><p>"The Composer asked me to bring you back. So here we are. You're safe now. I'm only here to help you. Things didn't go exactly as planned, but you're back to life, well, unlife, you know how the UG is…"</p><p>Sanae trailed off, unsure he was accomplishing anything by trying to talk. He sighed. Maybe he had no choice but to shake things up a bit.</p><p>He took a slow step toward Megumi, who tried to fuse with the wall in an attempt to back away. Another step, and Megumi was hissing menacingly. Another…</p><p>Megumi was <i>fast</i>. So fast that Sanae was already pinned to the floor, his head hurting from the shock of his fall, before he even registered that Megumi had moved.</p><p>"Wait…"</p><p>Sanae tried to push Megumi off of him, to no avail. His tail was coiled around his legs, so tight Sanae couldn't move them at all, and Megumi had caught his wrists in his hands, using his body weight to keep them on the floor above Sanae's head. Sanae thought he could probably free himself if he used all his angelic strength, but he would have to seriously <i>fight</i> for that, and he'd rather avoid wounding Megumi.</p><p>"OK, maybe this is better… Do you feel safer? You're the one in control… I cannot move, you have the upper hand…"</p><p>Megumi bent down, his face coming closer to Sanae's neck, and for a hysterical half of a second Sanae wondered if Megumi was scenting him. Then Megumi bit him, <i>hard</i>.</p><p>Sanae felt fangs sliding into his neck and cried out. Everything was narrowing down to the pulsing pain, and the weird cold/static/blankness that followed, spreading slowly, sluggishly from the wound.</p><p>Megumi was venomous. Of <i>freaking</i> course.</p><p>"Megumi…"</p><p>Speaking was already harder. Sanae felt like his lips, his tongue wouldn't move normally. </p><p>"Megumi, please, let me go? I promise I won't hurt you. In fact it'd really be better if you backed off for a while…"</p><p>Sanae knew he could negate the effects of the venom by switching Frequency, but doing so while in close contact with Megumi? It would <i>hurt</i> him, and Sanae frankly didn't need to give Megumi any new reason to attack him.</p><p>Everything was spinning. Sanae's body was sending him contradictory signals, pain and numbness mixed in a maddening confusion. It was spreading fast, or maybe Sanae's legs were just feeling the strain of Megumi's grip. Sanae blinked, slowly, far too conscious of his labored breathing. Megumi's venom was too potent. This was getting dangerous even for him.</p><p>"Megumi…" he whimpered.</p><p>Megumi tightened his hold on Sanae, making him wince. He was going to bruise, at the very least. If he managed to get out of the situation without escalating it. Megumi eventually left his neck alone, backing just enough to look at Sanae's face, yellow eyes watching the growing cloudiness in Sanae's gaze.</p><p>He really had no choice left, had he? Switch Frequency, harm Megumi, try to pick up the pieces from there.</p><p>But then, just as he was about to do exactly that, bright yellow melted into warm brown. Sanae blinked, slowly, unsure of what he was seeing and of what it meant.</p><p>"Who…" Megumi said. "What… what's going on?"</p><p>Confusion dominated his voice, but panic was lurking not far behind.</p><p>"Please, let go of me," Sanae begged. "Promise I'll… explain…"</p><p>He had no time. Not enough. He felt like passing out and that would be… the End, capital E, probably.</p><p>Fortunately, Megumi seemed to discover his hold on Sanae and reacted with a shocked retreat. As soon as all contact disappeared, Sanae let his Frequency flash <i>up</i>, straight into Angel territory. And then down, back to the UG, his whole body tingling with the after effects of the venom, but no longer sinking. He slowly sat up, bracing himself against residual pain, glad to at least be clear-headed.</p><p>Megumi was staring at him with a mix of awe and gut-wrenching <i>fear</i>. His eyes were flickering between brown and yellow, reflecting his internal turmoil.</p><p>"Are… are you the new Composer?" Megumi finally asked.<br/>
"What?"</p><p>Sanae had two or three seconds of pure confusion before realizing Megumi had never met anyone other than the Composer with that high a Frequency.</p><p>"Oh, no," he hurried to answer, "the Composer is still the same. Name's Sanae Hanekoma."</p><p>Megumi didn't acknowledge him, hovering halfway between Sanae and the room's door.</p><p>"Megumi? You're safe, relax."</p><p>A sudden spike of yellow.</p><p>"How… how do you know who I am? What happened to me? Why… the Composer Erased me, why am I here? What did you do to him?"<br/>
"Wow, breathe. I didn't do anything to him," (Sanae swallowed the guilt the thought of "this time" brought), "actually he came to me to ask me to revive you."<br/>
"To… you're the one we brought back Minamimoto."</p><p>Megumi was still so tense. So obviously, painfully afraid of him.</p><p>"He did most of the work himself", Sanae answered truthfully. "I just had to give him a little bit of help."<br/>
"Who are you?"<br/>
"I… I'm technically not supposed to tell you, but it's not like it matters anymore I guess. I'm the Producer of Shibuya. My role is to be an impartial observer, just making sure that the Game follows the rules. Only the Composer is allowed to know about me."</p><p>Megumi blinked, slowly, in a very inhuman way.</p><p>"Impartial," he repeated, tone conveying heavy disbelief.</p><p>Sanae winced and rubbed his neck, embarrassed.</p><p>"Supposed to be, yeah. I… kinda dropped that part. Shibuya's survival seemed more important than rules, at that point."</p><p>Megumi flinched and looked around him nervously.</p><p>"Where… I lost, so is Shibuya…?"<br/>
"Shibuya's alright. Better than alright, really." When Megumi just went on surveying his surrounding, Sanae added: "We're in Shibuya right now. Cat Street. WildKat."<br/>
"… I can feel it."<br/>
"Uh?"<br/>
"I can feel Shibuya," Megumi rephrased.</p><p>His eyes were decidedly unfocused. Sanae was unsure if it was progress or not.</p><p>"So, how do you feel?" he asked.</p><p>Megumi brought his attention back on him but didn't answer. The twitches of his tail and the flashes of yellow in his iris were crystal clear hints, though. Sanae sighed.</p><p>"How about you come here so I can heal your hands?" he suggested.<br/>
"My…"</p><p>Megumi slowly looked at his hands, confused, and tensed upon seeing his bloodied fingers.</p><p>"What… why…"</p><p>Sanae could see the <i>exact</i> moment when Megumi realized he was not fully human anymore. His whole body froze, then he started shaking violently.</p><p>"Megumi…"</p><p>Sanae didn't even get the opportunity to find how to finish what he wanted to be a reassurance. Megumi whimpered and, fast as lighting, rushed out of the room. Sanae bit down a swear and ran after him.</p><p>Seeing Megumi in a corner of the corridor, rolled into a tight ball of misery, was both a relief and utterly heartbreaking. At least he had not disappeared. Sanae had to cling to that. He would help him.</p><p>(He didn't want to contemplate the fact that it might be impossible. He would not fail.<br/>
He would not fail <i>him</i>.)</p><p>Sanae slowly approached Megumi, announcing his presence by talking softly.</p><p>"Megumi, I'm coming closer. I won't hurt you, I promise. In fact I'll heal your wounds if you're OK with that. Everything's gonna be alright."</p><p>He gently put a hand on Megumi's shoulder and found himself lying down on his back once again, Megumi hissing menacingly above him. Sanae just looked at him, trying to project calm.</p><p>This time, Megumi hesitated. Yellow, brown, yellow. Brown.</p><p>"What… what happened to me?" Megumi asked, his voice half breaking, closer to a sob.<br/>
"Short version, I didn't know your Music well enough to bring you back so the Composer had to make me listen to his memory of it, and it was harder to work with that layer of removal. I… I'm sorry. I think I can fix it," Sanae hurried to add," but I'm sorry I caused you so much distress in the meantime."</p><p>Megumi's gaze slid down to Sanae's shoulders, where his hands were leaving red stains on white cloth.</p><p>"… what did I <i>do</i>?" Megumi asked.<br/>
"Panicked, tried to dig your way through the wall."</p><p>A pause.</p><p>"Do you want me to heal your fingers?"</p><p>Megumi slowly nodded, appearing lost and vulnerable. Sanae carefully brought his hands to Megumi's, keeping his movement easy to track and not looking away from Megumi's eyes. They flickered yellow for a brief instant when their skins touched, but that was all. Sanae gently poured healing energy into Megumi's wounds, then added a bit more to soothe his tense muscles. Megumi blinked sluggishly, then let his eyes close completely.</p><p>To Sanae's surprise, Megumi collapsed on top of him.</p><p>"Megumi?"</p><p>He only got a sleepy mumble in answer. Worried, Sanae tried to scan Megumi's surface thoughts.</p><p>He was genuinely asleep.</p><p>That… was probably a good thing, though unexpected. Sanae would not have thought it possible for Megumi to relax around him enough to settle down, at least not before a long time, and now he was using him as a pillow. But that only showcased the utter exhaustion his resurrection and subsequent panic attack(s?) had burdened him with.</p><p>Sanae carefully sat up, then gathered Megumi in his arms, trying to somehow juggle the impressively long tail. Megumi didn't react at all, and so Sanae brought him to his bedroom and lay him down on the bed. He sat beside Megumi and considered his options.</p><p>He could try to fix the dissonances in Megumi's Music right now. With him being unconscious, it would be easier to pinpoint the problems and get rid of them with minimal action. Or he could wait for Megumi to wake up and ask for his permission to go rooting around in his Soul.</p><p>Sanae hesitated. He didn't want to just do away with the very concept of consent, but if he was pragmatic that ship had sailed when he had brought Megumi back from Erasure.</p><p>(And after all, he was already a monster, wasn't he? So he could at least help Megumi to get back to normal. That would not be more traumatizing than waking up as half-Noise <i>again</i>, and Megumi would already hate him for that anyway.)</p><p>So Sanae brushed a hand against Megumi's temple and delved into his Music.</p><p>Finding the notes that were slightly out of tune was a work of patience, but not very difficult at that point. When Sanae finally came back to his more traditional senses, he felt dizzy from the change in perceptions after such a long time, but Megumi looked fully human again.</p><p>Sanae hurried to pull a blanket over him. After all, he was still stark naked.</p><p>There. He had done it. When he woke up, Megumi could go back to Joshua, and Sanae would probably not hear from any of them for a long time. (He didn't think Joshua would avoid him forever. At some point, there would be a confrontation, and it would be brutal.)</p><p>Ignoring the rock trying to take over his throat, Sanae put some clothes on the corner of the bed for Megumi. The two of them were close enough in build so they should fit him well enough.</p><p>He remembered he still had blood on his shirt, grabbed a clean one and went to the bathroom to get changed and try to get the stains off. He stopped in front of the mirror, surprised. On his neck, pale like years-old scars but undeniably visible, were the marks of Megumi's fangs.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sanae made sure to be out of WildKat when Megumi woke up. He didn't feel ready for what could only be an awkward and tense situation. Better just let him leave without forcing him to interact.</p><p>And so Sanae went back to fighting art block and guilt and disgust at himself.</p><p>He would like to think nothing had changed, except that would be a lie. Seeing Joshua so full of hatred had been heartbreaking. Bringing Megumi back only to hurt him had made him feel like a failure. And using Taboo again…</p><p>He <i>knew</i> that this oily feeling was only in his head. His skin was pristine, not covered in tar, but it <i>felt</i> like it anyway.</p><p>He ignored it. (He tried to.)</p><p>He just had to keep his hands busy to stop himself from scratching at his arms, his face, his whole body. He just had to keep his mind occupied to avoid focusing on that nauseating feeling on his wings.</p><p>It was so much more intense now that he had used a resurrection sigil all by himself.</p><p>But all in all, he was (not alright) managing things, more or less. He would get used to everything, get back into a new rhythm, go on living.</p><p>Days after Megumi went back to Joshua, and it was only getting worse.</p><p>He felt like he was drowning. He couldn't breathe anymore, his wings and fingers were dripping sticky, <i>disgusting</i> liquid, he couldn't do it, he couldn't do it, <i>he couldn't…</i></p><p>A hand touched him. He screamed, jerked back and hit his head on the wall behind him.</p><p>"Hanekoma? Breathe, please…"</p><p>Slowly, awareness trickled back in. Sanae was on the floor, more or less leaning against a wall, and it was Megumi talking to him, kneeling before him with obvious worry in his eyes.</p><p>Sanae didn't remember what happened to lead him there. He just… just wanted that sickly feeling to <i>stop</i>.</p><p>Megumi grabbed his wrists.</p><p>"Don't," he said, firm but gentle. "You're only hurting yourself."<br/>
"… what?"<br/>
"… alright, that's not important right now. Just focus on me and your breathing. I've got you."</p><p>Confused, Sanae obeyed. Why was Megumi here anyway? Was he not supposed to avoid him? And why was he being so… concerned?</p><p>He realized only when his breathing slowed down that he had been hyperventilating. Megumi was softly smiling at him as if he was proud, which made no sense. It was all in his eyes, really. His lips only hinted at his emotion, but there was a warmth in his eyes that Sanae couldn't understand.</p><p>Maybe that explained why Megumi was always hiding behind opaque sunglasses, though. Way easier to appear impassible.</p><p>"Stay with me," Megumi ordered in a low voice.</p><p>Sanae blinked, tried to focus again. He could feel Megumi's fingers around his wrists, but also the tar marring his wings, and how could Megumi <i>touch him</i> when he was so disgusting?</p><p>"If I release you," Megumi asked after a while, "are you going to start pulling out your feathers again?" </p><p>What?</p><p>Suddenly, Sanae could see the whole room and not only Megumi. There were feathers on the floor for several meters around him. Megumi was kneeling on them, getting… blood…</p><p>With a mounting horror, Sanae tugged on Megumi's grip to bring his hands in front of him. They were indeed covered in sticky liquid, but it was not tar. It was blood, stuck under his nails, painting his palms red, slipping down his arms.</p><p>"No…"<br/>
"Hanekoma," Megumi cut, pressing.</p><p>He was not enough to stop the shattering <i>panic</i> and <i>wrongness</i>.</p><p>When he came back to his senses, Megumi was pinning him down to the floor and Sanae was shaking, half choking on his sobs.</p><p>He wanted his control back. Why was he not able to just be <i>normal</i>?</p><p>(He wanted to disappear.)</p><p>"Are you back with me?" Megumi asked.</p><p>Sanae didn't feel able to talk, but he nodded.</p><p>"Good."</p><p>In the following silence, Sanae tried to stop crying. The tears kept coming, though.</p><p>It was as if everything he had wanted to bottle up since that damn Game had exploded and was now pouring out of him, and the harder he fought to contain it the less he could get a grip. God, he was such a failure. He had wanted to stop Joshua from destroying Shibuya, but had only managed to get Sho killed and irrevocably shatter Joshua's trust. He had been unable to <i>correctly</i> bring Megumi back from Erasure, probably left him with deep psychological scars. He couldn't even keep himself in check. He couldn't stay conscious of his actions. He couldn't stop <i>shaking</i> and even if he now knew it was <i>blood</i>, <i>his own blood</i> covering his wings, it only made him want to destroy them <i>more</i>.</p><p>… but Megumi was holding him as if he was worth something, looking at him with kindness, and he didn't know if that made it better or worse.</p><p>"Why are you…" he tried. Not finding a better way to end his sentence, he pitifully concluded: "… here?"</p><p>Megumi saw right through it anyway.</p><p>"You helped me only a few days ago, there is no way I'd let you break down and suffer on your own. I'll help you get back on your feet."<br/>
"But why?" Sanae insisted. "You probably have much more important things to do. I… I don't deserve your time…"</p><p>Megumi frowned.</p><p>"You're not thinking straight right now", he said.</p><p>Before Sanae could object, Megumi went on.</p><p>"Do you think you could stand? You can lean on me if needed."</p><p>Sanae tried to sit up. For half a second, he struggled against Megumi's strength, then it shifted to help him instead. Not that Megumi released his wrists completely, but he swapped to a looser one-handed grip to carefully place his other hand between Sanae's shoulder-blades. He only brushed very lightly over one of Sanae's wings, but it was enough to hurt.</p><p>(It was his own fault. He couldn't complain.)</p><p>(He deserved it.)</p><p>Then Sanae's eyes fell down to the bright red <i>snake tail</i> that was restraining his legs. Without Megumi's hand on his back, he would probably have met the floor again. Everything seemed to spin around him.</p><p>"I… why… I thought I… I <i>fixed</i> this!" Sanae almost begged.<br/>
"What? Oh, yes, you did. Hanekoma, <i>breathe</i>," Megumi insisted. "I'm perfectly fine. Look."</p><p>His tail blurred and disappeared, leaving him straddling Sanae with human legs. Sanae bit back a relieved sob.</p><p>"I just needed a better hold to keep you from hurting yourself even more," Megumi added softly. "I control the change. Thanks to you."</p><p>It was probably stupid to break over <i>that</i>, but that was it. That spike of <i>fear</i> on top of everything else had left Sanae feeling empty. He didn't even have enough strength left to hate himself for being so weak. He let himself slump against Megumi, his face pressed against his shoulder.</p><p>"… Hanekoma?"</p><p>He was so tired.</p><p>"… OK. Let's get you…"</p><p>Megumi freed his legs and gently pulled him up. Sanae followed his lead, numb, his legs threatening to send him back down. Fortunately Megumi didn't seem to want him to stay up on his own. He guided Sanae to one of the stools in front of the counter and made him sit, then placed Sanae's hands on the bar.</p><p>"Here. Let me take care of you."</p><p>Sanae didn't understand what he meant until he felt a brief spot of pain followed by soothing warmth. Megumi was <i>healing his wings</i>.</p><p>Confused but too exhausted to care, Sanae put his head down on his arms and let Megumi do whatever he wanted.</p><p>The process was long. Megumi tracked down each and every point where Sanae had pulled off a feather and healed it, smoothing back the chaos Sanae's uncaring hands had created.</p><p>After a while, Sanae realized it didn't felt just like healing. Realistically, it was only that, but it didn't change the fact that deep down he felt like Megumi was… purifying him. Absolving him. Like each burst of energy pushed back not only the wounds, but also Taboo.</p><p>When Megumi finished, Sanae felt lighter than he had in weeks. He was also on the verge of passing out, and overwhelmingly dirty, but it was not his internal destruction showing anymore, just regular "I'm covered in dried blood" dirty.</p><p>"Better?" Megumi asked softly.</p><p>Sanae genuinely tried to answer, but only managed an inarticulate mumble. Megumi chuckled.</p><p>"I'll take that as a yes."</p><p>He sounded weirdly fond. He went on talking, but Sanae couldn't make out the words.</p><p>When he woke up, he was in his bed, alone. Checking on the café showed that Megumi had managed to tidy it up, leaving all the feathers in a plastic bag behind the counter.</p><p>Sanae wondered if that would be the last time he'd see Megumi. Then he spotted his scars in the mirror and smiled.</p><p>They had helped each other through their worst. It was not a link easily dismissed.</p><p>They would meet again, and maybe talk, or try to offer apologies the other would say were not needed. They would learn more about each other than who they were at their absolute lowest point. Maybe they would even sympathize over their shared love for Shibuya and the extremes they had been ready to go to for the city.</p><p>They had time.</p>
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